May 2014: Visit to the UK: shopping, Manchester Women's SM Conference, friends, and Bar Wotever

I am fortunate to have a great employer that offers its staff a paid 15-day sabbatical after 15 years of service. I took advantage of my sabbatical this year and made a trip to Europe, including a week in the UK, wheich was my home for 28 years. My wife Marilyn joined me on most of my trip. We visited friends and family, and attended the International Women's SM Conference in Manchester, England. Conference, as it is known to its alumni, is put on annually by the Manchester SM Dykes group. This year was the eleventh, and my third, Conference.

Whenever I think about attending any "women's" event, quotes used advisedly, my first question is usually "who does this event include?" - because it's almost never the same twice. Because I know you care too, here is SMDykes' gender policy: "We welcome all women who live full-time as women, and FTM, genderqueer and intersexed persons who feel that they still have links to the women’s community." This is one of the more inclusive "women's space" definitions, though it is not as fully inclusive as some. What do you think of it?

On to the travelogue! My wife Marilyn and I had a direct flight booked from San Francisco to London Heathrow on Monday May 19th. Sadly the flight was cancelled due to technical difficulties and we had to disembark and get rerouted by the airline. We finally made it to London very late at night on the Tuesday, and went direct to the Beigel Bake on Brick Lane for what are arguably the best bagels on the planet (and available 24/7).

It turns out that Marilyn didn't know that US-market Hitachi, um, massagers don't work on 220-240 volt power - in fact they go up in smoke! Somehow I had never informed her of this fact. Luckily, I did tell her before we landed at Heathrow. And this gave us a great reason to go to Sh! - London's woman-owned sex shop that celebrated 20 years in business in 2012. If you are ever in London, this is a great place to buy toys, safe sex supplies, books, and fashions. And you'll be glad to know that Marilyn came away happy with her USB-chargeable Cordless Wand Massager.

While we were in the neighborhood, I suggested we also go to Expectations, which is a great and long-established toy and clothing store mostly targeted to guys. I shopped there a lot when I lived in London, and like to check in whenever I visit. Here I am with their DIVINE front door artwork!

Expectations has a lot of gas masks for sale. And I mean a LOT. This was just a small part of the display. I was tempted, but I decided there was not enough room in the suitcase.

It was fun to look around. Also, the sales assistant was very helpful with the lengths of chain and all the other things you might want at a store like that. While we were chatting, he told us that this year's Mr UK Leather contest had been held right there in the shop. I was a little surprised, because it is quite a small space. I bet the atmosphere was fantastic. And I expect the contest may need to move to a new venue, if not next year then soon.

After shopping, and visiting with friends in London, and a long drive through rain showers, more visiting with friends along the way, picking up Staffordshire Oatcakes in Stoke on Trent, and a drive through the beautiful Peak District park, we arrived in Manchester on Friday afternoon, May 23, in plenty of time for the Main Event.

International Women's SM Conference, Manchester 2014

Many months earlier, I had announced to the conference organizers (some of whom are friends of mine) my intention of attending Conference this year as part of my sabbatical trip. When I got my title, the organizers thought it would be a great idea if I taught a workshop on the title system and American leather culture. With a little trepidation (what kind of expert am I on titles? I only just got one, etc), and maybe a bit of pride, I agreed, and was excited to have my proposal accepted, appear in the run book, and receive a discount on my already reasonable conference fee.

This was my third time at Conference, so I pretty much knew what to expect. And I am glad to inform you that I got what I expected, and more.

The International Women's SM Conference (simply Conference to its attendees) is a unique and delightful event. The conference itself isn't held in a hotel, but in Manchester's LGBT Community Center. It's intimate, at a little over 80 attendees, this year including folks from the US, Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, Denmark, Ireland, and the UK (and maybe more that I failed to record). And it has a bit of the "feel" of an old-school women's conference. In a really good way, trust me!

What follows is my blow-by-blow description of the weekend. I am trying to give a flavor of Conference. I can't possibly give you a flavor of the amazing camaraderie that developed between conference goers over the weekend. I have friends I only see at Conference: I may not have seen them since my last Conference four years ago, but we greet each other as if we saw each other last week.  Which we may have, on Facebook or "That Other Social Media". Anyway, here goes:

• Friday evening. We arrive and register. We find seats in the main room. We peruse auction items on tables at the side of the room. We help ourselves to soda or water. And we sit back and enjoy the live auction, presided over by the inimitable Rosie Lugosi. Auction items were diverse, jam, signed artwork, clothes, toys, accessories, jewelry, shoes, and services ... all had been donated and were being auctioned to defray conference costs.The organizers are trying to keep it reasonably priced. And succeeding. Rosie is a great auctioneer, very entertaining; the items were often bargains; and we even get a set of stand-up comedy in the middle.
• No party Friday night. We go back to the hotel - five minutes' walk away, along Canal Street in Manchester's gay village. (See nightclub G-A-Y on the left of the picture.)

• Saturday mid-morning. Back to the LGBT Center. 11 am Workshops. Choices: warm up for the weekend (icebreaker), BDSM first aid, and role play. I pick role play and it's fun! 
• Lunch on site. We sit in the main room and eat a delicious cold lunch. (The organizers cater lunch, as well as beverages and snacks all day, as part of the registration package.)
• 1 pm Workshops. Choices: flirting and negotiation; pinchy stuff (clips, clamps, pegs); school role play. Wow, two role play classes in a row. I can not help myself. Miss Prim of the Muir Academy is teaching the school role play class, and I absolutely can't resist. Especially since my own workshop will be up against Miss Prim's Sunday workshop.
• 3:30 pm (after a tea break) Workshops. Choices: flogging for beginners; we need to talk about c*nt; age play. I sit and talk in the social area instead. I actually would have liked at least one of these classes but I am having a nice chat!
• Dinner - then by car to a play party. Play! Hurrah! (Play parties are not included in registration. But prices are reasonable.)
• Sunday we are on about the same schedule as Saturday. Morning sessions: Yoga and BDSM; Warm Up (reprise), which I attend and have a blast; Internet Security. After lunch: Size diversity and acceptance in the kink community; Hoods, which I go to and enjoy a lot; Anal play. After tea: Muir Academy; Fisting; and my workshop, which is attended by a decent number of folks - some of whom are interested in setting up a women's title contest in the UK. Who knows, maybe we'll see a UK-sponsored contestant at IMsL soon...
• Dinner - followed by another awesome play party, this time in the gay village: Lash for Lasses, an infrequently recurring event. Maybe it's only once a year now to coincide with Conference. Host: Rosie Lugosi. Here's a picture I snapped with very special permission before the party got going.

• Monday morning: time to leave. But first we attend the (no-host) restaurant brunch, conveniently located just across the street from our hotel. Saying our farewells to new friends and old, we depart, missing the third play party, which will be that afternoon. We would have liked to carry on playing but we have Things to Do and Vacations to Enjoy, etc. 

Leaving Manchester, we drove to Bath, where we spent a wonderful evening with good friends. The next day, Tuesday May 27, we went with them to Avebury, which is the only village that is partly inside a stone circle, to see another friend and walk the stones, and then Marilyn and I drove back to London in time to go to Bar Wotever.

(Oh look! Here is a picture of Rosie Garland, AKA Rosie Lugosi, reading from her book The Palace of Curiosities at Wotever! This was a different day than when I was there - I decided to include it because I was talking about Rosie earlier.)

I have already sung the praises of Wotever here. But I can't stress enough what a warm and welcoming place it is for every type of queer or questioning person. It was great to see some of my friends there, and to catch part of that night's Open Mic, which featured the talented Cameryn Moore among many other great performers. Then we went back to our hotel and got a bit of sleep before flying off to Italy to see my parents. And since that is not a story for this blog, I will leave this entry here.

Next time, I will talk about the events of June, including the British Discipline West Coast Tour; the "Orange is the New Black Hanky" Cabaret; and maybe even the San Francisco Pride Festival. Thanks for reading!